I heard my dachshund, Jack, who is irresistibly cute, crying and whimpering outside my bedroom door the other night. He just wanted to come in for snuggles and to have someone to sleep with and I just couldn’t turn him away. Also, please remember that he is irresistibly cute. Proof below:
After four hours of struggling to reclaim a small portion of what is already a small bed to begin with, it was time to wake up. Begrudgingly, I got out from under the covers cursing that fact that I’d spent the entire night trying to calm down an excitable dachshund who believed the slightest twitch of my body signaled HEY WAKE UP IT’S TIME FOR TREATS AND A PEE BREAK AND HEYHEYHEYTHROWMYSQUEAKYDUCK PLZZZZZ!!
When my dirty looks and whispered threats finally convinced the little guy that it was still bedtime and that I’d really only wiggled my toe involuntarily due to a muscle spasm or something, Jack seemed only more than happy to get more snuggle time. For some reason, though, his brain failed to turn off the wag from his tail and that was really, really, really, really, annoying. Then there was the issue of his poo-fragrant* breath and his cold, wet nose on my neck. Still, I never once considered tossing him out.
But I’ll never sleep with that dog again.
*This is also why I have a major problem with Jack licking me anywhere on my body, but especially on my hands and face. I’m confident we broke him of his repulsive habit of eating cat poop from the litterbox – also referred to as “getting Scooby snacks from the snack bar” – years ago, but still…