Whore Land!?

 The following conversation just happened between me and my 10-year old daughter:

Elle: “Mom, we had so much fun making up Monster Headlines today! ‘Drunk Dracula’…”

 

 

Me: “Stop. Stop. What are Monster Headlines and why is Dracula drunk?”

Elle: “I was getting to that…”

Me: “No, you weren’t. You just shot off into your story. You need to gimme a clue here!”

Elle (complete with a sarcastic tone and full-on back-into-the-head eye rolling): “Fine! Monster Headlines is when we make up a news headline with a famous monster but we have to use the same first letter of the monster for the rest of the words in the headline.  Okay?”

Me: “Thanks for explaining it…now, carry on.”

Elle: “So we were doing Monster Headlines and someone said ‘Drunk Dracula Drank a Drum’ and someone else said ‘A Gruesome Ghost Grabbed my Green Beans’… ”

Me: “That sounds fun! Did you get to do one? What was yours?”

Elle: “Mine was ‘The Headless Horseman Headed to Whore Land!'”

Me: “WHAT??!”

Elle: “Whore Land!”

Me: “What did you just say? Whore Land!? WHORE LAND?”

Elle: “Yes! Whore Land! The Headless Horseman Headed to Whore Land!”

Me: “Oh my god.”

Elle: “What?”

Me: “I can’t believe you told your teacher that the horseman went to Whore Land.”

Elle: “Oh!! Oh!! NO, Mom!! HOR-ROR LAND! HOR-ROR! HOR-ROR!”

Me: “………………..”

Well, this is pretty much where I started laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe. And now my child knows what a whore is (as I did explain it to her in delicate terms about selling one’s body, but then she misunderstood that as one selling their body parts…there’s too much Halloween going on right now).  She’s rather embarrassed and has learned a valuable lesson in forming your words very, very carefully.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

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